Planning A Gothic Valentine’s Day

It’s that dreaded time of year again. All the decorations are pink, sweets and chocolates are overpriced, and sappy gifts fill the stores. I’ve always hated Valentine’s Day, in fact I thought we should petition to have it replaced with a second Halloween.

If you are anything like me, the cliche traditions might put you off celebrating, however, just because you prefer the darker things in life doesn’t mean you and your significant other should avoid the day entirely.

I personally get through this holiday by imagining the hearts everywhere are those of my victims, and renaming the day ‘Frankentine’s Day’. Imagining everything to be spookier than what it is helps me cope with the sickly sweet decor and lovey-dovey themes that surround this day.
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There are a number of ways to celebrate this holiday that don’t include red roses and heart-shaped balloons. Here are a few ways to make your Valentine’s Day more gothic.

Cards:

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If you are willing to plan ahead and order early, then it is surprisingly easy to find spooky and gothic Valentine’s cards online. They often have some creepy-cute quotes on them and the images are far less generic than everything else in the regular card shops. You can usually find Valentine’s cards on gothic online stores at this time or by simply searching the internet, however, I think one of the best brands for gothic cards are Nightmoth.

Plushies:

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If your are still wanting to get a cute gift, you can often find left-over Halloween teddies in some stores, e.g. TY Halloween collection. You could always search online, there are often collections of zombie teddies or maybe search for brands like: Skelanimals or Gloomy Bear.

Chocolates:

If you still want to stick to ‘traditional’ gifts like chocolates, you can add a spooky twist by getting an anatomy heart, skull chocolates or gothic themed boxes. Again, the internet is your best friend for items like these, I tend to find that buying unusual and quirky gifts is a lot easier online.

Flowers:

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I’ve never been one for flowers, but I can’t deny the beauty of black roses. You could buy a single rose or a whole bunch, and depending how much you want to pay you can buy them real or fake. They would be perfect as a gift or just as decoration if you plan on having a quiet dinner at home.

Candles:

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Want some mood lighting? Candles are perfect for creating a romantic setting. You could just buy your bog-standard plain candles or get some red or black taper candles. If you want to be extra decorative then skull candles would be perfect (these would also be an amazing gift).

Drinks:

If you’re planning to have a quiet dinner at home, why not get creative with your food and drinks? You could put drinks in these cute ‘love potion’ bottles, or create a vampire theme with bottles filled with ‘blood’.

Jewellery:

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A heart locket is a sweet way to show your love and is a perfect sentimental gift. You could also opt for other designs such as a coffin or book locket.

Clothing:

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Valentine’s day is also great for fetish goth fashion as stores stock up on kink and BDSM inspired clothing. Great just for some fun on Valentine’s or for use all year round. The majority of gothic clothing stores will have this style clothing for sale everyday, however, you might be able to find it cheaper in other stores round Valentine’s day. I recommend checking out the online store, Kinky Angel, they do a lot of alternative clothing, as well as leather and PVC pieces and other gothic Valentine’s gifts.

Activities:

Deciding what to do to celebrate can be difficult, you might have already booked a table at your favourite restaurant. But if not here are some activities to consider: strolling through a cemetery or graveyard picnic, horror movie night, ghost tour, stay in a haunted hotel.

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Alternatively, if you are single, invite your single friends over and have an anti-Valentine’s party, hex your ex or do a Friends inspired ‘boyfriend bonfire‘.

Happy Frankentein’s Day!

What Not To Say To Goths

So I thought I’d do something a bit fun and light-hearted based on the daft comments I receive regularly for being a goth. Over the years I’ve learnt not to take things people say too seriously, usually people don’t mean any harm by it.

Here’s some of the regular comments I receive and my thoughts on them:

“Oh, I went through a Goth phase. You’ll grow out of that.”

It’s not a phase, it’s a way of life. Do not try to tell me what I will or won’t be interested in. Goth is not just for teens, there are plenty of Elder Goths out there!

“When are you going to stop dyeing your hair?”

Also anything along the lines of changing my hair can be annoying. I often get comments like “If you keep dying it then it will fall out…Your natural hair was such a lovely colour…don’t get it cut like that it will look ridiculous.” It’s my hair so I’ll do what I want with it, the way I look has no impact on anyone else. If I decide to shave my head tomorrow then why is it anyone else’s concern? It will grow back, if not I’ll buy a wig…

“Don’t get that pierced/tattooed.”

I find these types of comments usually come from concerned family members. I’m a girl with 7 ear piercings and I’ve been told if I get more piercings then I’m going to ‘overdo it’. In the past I was going to get a septum piercing to which I was told it would look like a ‘bull ring’ in my nose.

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Old photo of me with a fake septum ring

I also have a few tattoo ideas lined up, to which I’ve been told “You’ll look common” or “People won’t want to hire you for a job”. Sometimes they are worried for my safety, and try to talk me out of it by telling me all the possible infections I could get. But usually their reasons are just superficial. But as most goths know, we don’t look like this to please other people. We choose to look like this because it makes us happy.

“Don’t wear that, it looks boyish”

I’m sure goth guys also get the opposite with people telling them they look ‘too feminine’. I’ve personally been told not to wear certain things because they don’t look flattering enough. One time I was told not to wear a pair of my favourite shoes to a family event because they were ‘too boyish’. News flash: I don’t want to look girly! I don’t care about which gender my clothes were ‘meant’ for, I wear them because I love them.

“You’d look so much prettier without all that makeup”

I think this applies to everyone, not just goths in particular. I don’t wear makeup to look pretty. I wear it because I feel it completes my outfit, I like being creative, and most importantly I enjoy wearing it and the way it makes me feel. It also annoys me when people assume you are wearing it to impress someone. Just no! I’m not going to change who I am for other people, so why would I put makeup on for the sake of them? I wear it because once again it’s a thing that makes me happy!

“Are you into BDSM?”

Please, please, please stop asking us this! First of all, I’m not going to answer that. Secondly, a person being goth doesn’t determine whether they are ‘kinky’ in the bedroom or not.

“It’s not Halloween yet”

Well, Ministry would seem to disagree with you there…

This one is just a classic. For some reason people seem to think they are being funny and have thought up a really clever original phrase to say to us. Nope, I’ve heard this one tonnes of times before. If anyone knows when Halloween is then it’s me.

“Who’s funeral is it?”

Yours…

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There was a brilliant quote being spread round the internet: “If you can dress like this without going to a yoga class, I can dress like this without going to a funeral.” That pretty much sums up my thoughts on this comment.

“Are those your real eyes?”

This may sound like common sense, but honestly some people genuinely believe that bright red contact lenses are my normal eye colour…

“You look so scary”

Sometimes I will actually take this as a compliment, makes me feel like I’ve reached full goth potential!

 

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“You look dead”

Well I am a future corpse…

“You should get a tan, you look so pale and sickly”

Believe it or not I don’t want to risk skin cancer or to end up looking like an oompa loompa, so thanks but I think I’ll stick to my ghostly complexion.

“GOTH!”

I’ve never understood why people feel the need to shout this at me. Yes, I know I am a goth, well done for noticing 👏. I don’t take the word as an insult, it was my intention.

“Look its a vampire!”

I wish I was that awesome!

*Insert sarcastic voice* “Where did you get your coat from?”

Questions are fine so long as you are genuinely interested. But otherwise I don’t see the point in asking. This seems to be a thing chavvy teens love to do. Best one I’ve heard yet was: “Where’d you get your bag from? Toys R us?”. Personally I wish Toys R Us sold goth accessories, it’d be a lot easier to shop!

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My coffin bag

“There’s holes in your jeans”

Thanks for pointing that out, I never noticed that when I bought them…

“Do you worship the devil?”

This is unfortunately a stereotype that comes with being a goth. I’ve had people genuinely ask me if goth is a satanic thing out of pure curiosity. Just to clarify, not all goths are Satan worshippers! Goths can be any religion, just like anyone else.

“Do you cut yourself?”

Hold your horses! Firstly, you should never ask something this personal to anyone, mental health is no joke! Secondly, the stereotype that all goths are depressed is so wrong. We don’t dress in black and listen to this sort of music because we are all mopey. Honestly, if I were to stop being goth I’d be even more miserable, expressing myself in this way makes me happy.

“You have terrible music taste”

I could say the same to you. Everyone has their own taste, just because we don’t listen to mainstream tunes on the radio doesn’t mean my music is any less enjoyable than yours.

I hope you enjoyed these and maybe got a laugh out of some of my experiences. If you have any others, please share them in the comments!

 

 

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