So I thought I’d do something a bit fun and light-hearted based on the daft comments I receive regularly for being a goth. Over the years I’ve learnt not to take things people say too seriously, usually people don’t mean any harm by it.
Here’s some of the regular comments I receive and my thoughts on them:
“Oh, I went through a Goth phase. You’ll grow out of that.”
It’s not a phase, it’s a way of life. Do not try to tell me what I will or won’t be interested in. Goth is not just for teens, there are plenty of Elder Goths out there!
“When are you going to stop dyeing your hair?”
Also anything along the lines of changing my hair can be annoying. I often get comments like “If you keep dying it then it will fall out…Your natural hair was such a lovely colour…don’t get it cut like that it will look ridiculous.” It’s my hair so I’ll do what I want with it, the way I look has no impact on anyone else. If I decide to shave my head tomorrow then why is it anyone else’s concern? It will grow back, if not I’ll buy a wig…
“Don’t get that pierced/tattooed.”
I find these types of comments usually come from concerned family members. I’m a girl with 7 ear piercings and I’ve been told if I get more piercings then I’m going to ‘overdo it’. In the past I was going to get a septum piercing to which I was told it would look like a ‘bull ring’ in my nose.
I also have a few tattoo ideas lined up, to which I’ve been told “You’ll look common” or “People won’t want to hire you for a job”. Sometimes they are worried for my safety, and try to talk me out of it by telling me all the possible infections I could get. But usually their reasons are just superficial. But as most goths know, we don’t look like this to please other people. We choose to look like this because it makes us happy.
“Don’t wear that, it looks boyish”
I’m sure goth guys also get the opposite with people telling them they look ‘too feminine’. I’ve personally been told not to wear certain things because they don’t look flattering enough. One time I was told not to wear a pair of my favourite shoes to a family event because they were ‘too boyish’. News flash: I don’t want to look girly! I don’t care about which gender my clothes were ‘meant’ for, I wear them because I love them.
“You’d look so much prettier without all that makeup”
I think this applies to everyone, not just goths in particular. I don’t wear makeup to look pretty. I wear it because I feel it completes my outfit, I like being creative, and most importantly I enjoy wearing it and the way it makes me feel. It also annoys me when people assume you are wearing it to impress someone. Just no! I’m not going to change who I am for other people, so why would I put makeup on for the sake of them? I wear it because once again it’s a thing that makes me happy!
“Are you into BDSM?”
Please, please, please stop asking us this! First of all, I’m not going to answer that. Secondly, a person being goth doesn’t determine whether they are ‘kinky’ in the bedroom or not.
“It’s not Halloween yet”
Well, Ministry would seem to disagree with you there…
This one is just a classic. For some reason people seem to think they are being funny and have thought up a really clever original phrase to say to us. Nope, I’ve heard this one tonnes of times before. If anyone knows when Halloween is then it’s me.
“Who’s funeral is it?”
There was a brilliant quote being spread round the internet: “If you can dress like this without going to a yoga class, I can dress like this without going to a funeral.” That pretty much sums up my thoughts on this comment.
“Are those your real eyes?”
This may sound like common sense, but honestly some people genuinely believe that bright red contact lenses are my normal eye colour…
“You look so scary”
Sometimes I will actually take this as a compliment, makes me feel like I’ve reached full goth potential!
“You look dead”
Well I am a future corpse…
“You should get a tan, you look so pale and sickly”
Believe it or not I don’t want to risk skin cancer or to end up looking like an oompa loompa, so thanks but I think I’ll stick to my ghostly complexion.
I’ve never understood why people feel the need to shout this at me. Yes, I know I am a goth, well done for noticing 👏. I don’t take the word as an insult, it was my intention.
“Look its a vampire!”
I wish I was that awesome!
*Insert sarcastic voice* “Where did you get your coat from?”
Questions are fine so long as you are genuinely interested. But otherwise I don’t see the point in asking. This seems to be a thing chavvy teens love to do. Best one I’ve heard yet was: “Where’d you get your bag from? Toys R us?”. Personally I wish Toys R Us sold goth accessories, it’d be a lot easier to shop!
“There’s holes in your jeans”
Thanks for pointing that out, I never noticed that when I bought them…
“Do you worship the devil?”
This is unfortunately a stereotype that comes with being a goth. I’ve had people genuinely ask me if goth is a satanic thing out of pure curiosity. Just to clarify, not all goths are Satan worshippers! Goths can be any religion, just like anyone else.
“Do you cut yourself?”
Hold your horses! Firstly, you should never ask something this personal to anyone, mental health is no joke! Secondly, the stereotype that all goths are depressed is so wrong. We don’t dress in black and listen to this sort of music because we are all mopey. Honestly, if I were to stop being goth I’d be even more miserable, expressing myself in this way makes me happy.
“You have terrible music taste”
I could say the same to you. Everyone has their own taste, just because we don’t listen to mainstream tunes on the radio doesn’t mean my music is any less enjoyable than yours.
I hope you enjoyed these and maybe got a laugh out of some of my experiences. If you have any others, please share them in the comments!
I’m always so excited when I find a new band I love and desperate to share my enjoyment of their music with other people.
So when a new song, ‘Choke’ by I Don’t Know How But They Found Me, appeared in my recommended on YouTube, I was more than willing to give it a listen.
The thumbnail stood out to me, as it had what looked like a skull but the artwork reminded me of that on Joy Division’s ‘Unknown Pleasures’ album cover – two things which strongly appealed to my gothic nature.
The band itself is an indie rock duo composed of vocalist and bassist Dallon Weekes, formerly of The Brobecks and Panic! At the Disco (another band which I love!). Also, drummer Ryan Seaman, formerly of Falling in Reverse.
The band name I Don’t Know How But They Found Me is a line taken from the 1985 sci-fi film Back To The Future, and so the release date (26th October) of this song is a direct reference to the film as it is the date Doc Brown and Marty McFly intended to travel to in 2010.
This is the second single in a project inspired by a series of 1980-90’s talent shows that Weekes discovered.
Weekes said that ‘Choke’ was written to describe how disenchanted he had become in Los Angeles. He said that he loved the place, but the culture was hard to navigate as he didn’t fit in so it never felt like home.
So I was intending to save up my student loan and not go on a spending spree, but with the Halloween period being the best time to buy all-things goth, I couldn’t help myself.
I figured why not treat myself – my excuse being that October is ‘Gothmas’.
Every year I get so excited by the vast array of creepy and dark decor, make-up, clothing and jewellery all round the shops.
Honestly this year I was a little disappointed, as I didn’t see many items of clothing around, I at least expected a couple of Primark t-shirts, alas there were none.
I did, however, manage bag myself a couple of pieces of jewellery which I will happily show off in another post.
I think the most interesting Halloween items this year were TK Maxx’s home decor. But with me not being a home owner yet, there was little I could purchase. But I did get some great inspiration for when I do get my own place in future, for now I’ve just stuck to getting a few candles for my bedroom.
As you can imagine, I get pretty excited whenever I find the Halloween section in a store.
So I went in Superdrug, after purchasing ‘MUA Luxe Velvet Lip Lacquer – Panache’, only intending to buy another one of these matte liquid lipsticks, but in the shade ‘Splash’.
However I came out with 6 other make-up products.
I was freaking out when I found a Halloween make-up section and had to persuade myself to only buy a few of the items and not the whole lot.
So without further ado, here are the products I bought and my first impression:
MUA Luxe Velvet Matte Metallic Lip Lacquer – £3
I bought these liquid lipsticks in three different shades to try out: Purple, Green and Black. I loved the way they were shimmery and glittery in the light. They aren’t your everyday wearable colours, but I wanted something bold that I could get creative with. I did try these on my lips to test them out, but not for a prolonged period. I found that the green one was particularly more drying the the others on the lip. So far all the liquid lipsticks I have tried (not just this brand) seem uncomfortable for me. It might just be because I tend to be more of a lip-balm kind of girl, so I hate that dried up feeling. It’s going to have to be something where I test out other brands to see if I find one comfortable enough.
Obviously these are cheaper drug store brands, so I wasn’t expecting anything amazing. I was very impressed with the colours, however I found the metallic colours crumble away more on the inside of the lip than the plain matte ones I had previously tried. However, when it comes to washing them off, I used a baby-wipe and found that previously the matte versions of Panache and Splash wiped off pretty easily, whereas the metallic shades take a lot more scrubbing.
I’m pretty happy with these colours however, I don’t think these are something I will be wearing regularly on my lips. My plan for these is to do some more creative artsy eye looks with them, because they only tend to crumble on the lips. If you don’t know what I’m talking about then you should check out Drac Maken’s YouTube channel. She regularly uses liquid lipsticks for her eye art pieces and they always turn out amazing.
MUA Shimmer Highlight Powder (Aqua Shine) – £3:
I already own two MUA highlighters and I’ve been pretty impressed with their quality for the price, so I thought I’d get a new one. This time I went for this really bold metallic blue colour. Again, this is not something wearable for everyday, but will definitely come in handy for some more creative looks or even as an eye-shadow. It has a good pigment and definitely highlights as the shimmer to this really stands out. Their highlighters are definitely something I would recommend if you are looking for some good quality, but cheap drugstore brands.
This has got to be my favourite make-up purchases. I love everything about this product! First of all, the skull print within the powder got me so excited – it’s so cute I almost didn’t want to touch it in case I ruined it. At first glance it looks like a white base with gold tint to it. However, when applied to the cheeks and viewed in the light you can see these stunning pink shimmers. It’s the perfect glow for any ghoul! The pigment has just the right balance, not too pale that you have to apply loads and not too strong that you look like an instant ball of light. I have been using this as my everyday highlighter since and I’m still really impressed with it.
Revolution Ghost Sculpt – £2:
This is a product I got super excited about when I first saw it. I’m already really pale in complexion, so I find that when I buy contour palettes they always look too orange-toned for my skin and don’t look right. I took to trying to use black eye-shadows to create a light grey contour, however this was never easy when the eye-shadow palettes were so small and highly pigmented. So when I found this I knew I had to try it out.
When it comes to the white-powder side I wasn’t that impressed. I was hoping it would work well as a highlight or at least make my face more ghostly white, however, I found it just blends into my natural skin tone (granted this could be because I’m already as white as a sheet!). However, if you are looking for a good translucent powder this would be it.
When it came to the black-powder side, I applied it way too heavy! This product has some strong pigment, so I’d say use it carefully otherwise the contour can end up looking way too dark. Obviously this was intended for dramatic Halloween looks. I’m pretty happy with this product and again I use this as my everyday contour, it’s just something I find I have to be very careful over how much product is on the brush and do a lot of blending to make it look natural. I will be continuing to use this though and would buy it again. If you was those heavily contoured cheekbones, this will definitely do the trick.
So that’s all the makeup I got in October. I hope everyone had an awesome Halloween, let me know what you did to celebrate or any of your spooky finds in the comments.